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Prey by ~FelixT:iconFelixT:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


Prey

Eyes pierce
as you are observing me,
waiting for the right moment to attack.

Your invading tongue searches me
as you are surrounding in circles,
trying to discover cold sweat.

Lethal canine teeth shake my defense
as you grin devilishly,
expecting a wrong word
- a wrong move.

Your pulsing body squeezes me
- tightening its grasp,
pushing me to give in.

Fangs will end my life
as soon as I tell you that
I do not love you.
©2006-2009 ~FelixT
Details
Submitted: November 27, 2006
File Size: 644 bytes
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Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 56
Favourites & Collections: 9 [who?]

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Author's Comments

You're in a relationship with somebody you don't love but you think s/he will possibly find out soon or you will have to tell him/her.

Enjoy



Edited: 10/03/07
There were a lot of "me"s, "my"s, "you"s and "your"s. I slightly changed some other lines too.
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Comments


~StoneAnnexCipher:iconStoneAnnexCipher: Nov 27, 2006, 10:53:21 AM
O, you linked to me. D:
I see you've already gotten a favorite.
Marked improvement, you'll get the hang of this eventually.

Watch out for that "me."
Mood: Joy *optalbeethova:iconoptalbeethova: Dec 3, 2006, 7:59:20 AM
Interesting interpretation...I like the visuals of vampire relationship in the negative. Nice ideas here.

--
:bulletblue:Manipulations:bulletblue: Photoshopfans:bulletblue:
Final Overdose
~FelixT:iconFelixT: Dec 3, 2006, 9:15:37 AM
Well you may see it as a snake and/or vampire. Whatever the reader wants to. And i want to accent again that I could have never written the poem without the help of StoneAnnexCipher.
~VVxFan:iconVVxFan: Dec 14, 2006, 8:35:43 AM
Wow, nice poem FelixT. Nice work

--
My Real Japanese name is:

石丸 Ishimaru (round stone) 三千代 Michiyo (three thousand generations)

Find out yours here! --->[link]
~FelixT:iconFelixT: Dec 14, 2006, 8:59:11 AM
Thanks a lot for commenting and adding to favorites. :+fav:
:bow: :hug:
~VVxFan:iconVVxFan: Dec 14, 2006, 10:53:31 AM
No problemo dude! YAY! First emoticon hug!

--
My Real Japanese name is:

石丸 Ishimaru (round stone) 三千代 Michiyo (three thousand generations)

Find out yours here! --->[link]
~Blissfulbutterfly:iconBlissfulbutterfly: Dec 16, 2006, 4:23:25 AM
You build it up well and the ending just totally twists the feeling of the poem..i like that effect :)

Vampire imagery, awesome...though i'm not a fan of vampires ...i like how you used it in your poem.

:)

--
Thy frienship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy for friendship's sake. - William Blake.
~FelixT:iconFelixT: Dec 16, 2006, 4:31:32 AM
Thanks for this nice comment. But as I already replied to another comment before I rather intended to use a snake imagery but both meanings fit to the poem...

Thanks again. :bow:
~silent-surrender:iconsilent-surrender: Dec 19, 2006, 10:04:18 AM
wow

xxxx

--
Maybe it's change that sets us free.
Here's my change,
Let me free.

===========
Peace and Love

natasha
xxXxx
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